Captain has been an asshole his whole life, so it's safe to say he knows a great ass when he sees one. This page is strictly for those who love a great ass. And no, we don't mean that round curve of meat on the back of your lady...of course not. We only mean a great ass, or asshole, someone that does or says some mean thing, rude comback, smartass remark, or waste of time advice that does'nt really need to be shared. So please read the material and try to not be distracted by the pictures. Captain puts a lot of thought into his asshole remarks, enjoy!!!
Reality TV
Why do so many people watch reality TV? I guess I have to ask, why do so many networks create so much reality TV? Does anyone in America remember what MTV stands for? Music Television! Why is now MTVs programming consist of 88.7% reality TV programming instaed of music videos? Most national networks such as NBC, CBS, FOX all carry at least 4 to 5 reality Tv programs on a weekly basis. With the exception of a few good shows such as, Lost, Heroes, 24, The Shield, and a few others, the major watched networks on television are being supported by some bummed out washed up idea of a reality TV show. Americans sit and soak their ass in couch cushions and watch basiclly...other peoples business, other peoples problems, arguments, other people cheating on each other, people competing against each other, people deciding if the want a relationship with a man or a woman, people selling junk in their house...etc. Need I go on? Chances are you watch a reality TVshow, chances are I have, and chances are it was a waste of my freaking time. Have our own lives become so boring and not important that we watch these strange people we don't even know do stupid things to each other and play stupid games towin money that we won't get to enjoy!? WTF!! Is this entertainment? This is what we've come to. Peering into other peoples lives and personal issues with scripted drama and arguments, scripted love insterests and break-ups. Waa-waa, boo-hoo said the little brown hen! Instead of having sex with your sig. other you guys are sitting on the couch creating boils on your butts watching Billy (with his plucked eyebrows) try and convince Jamie (with fake breasts) to come back to his room so you guys can watch them edited on some night vision camera fool around under the covers. People, we have Paris Hilton for that! Hollywood makes some great porn if you want to see some action. Or try this...try having a conversation with your spouse or whatever they are about something other than work, the route you take to work, or how mch your boss sucks and actually talk about something that means something. Soon, the reality shows will becoma as boring as your life if you don't stop watching them. -Capt. 
CONCENTRATE
Okay people, if there's one thing most of us are not doing...it's concentrating on what's in front of us. I admit, I'm one of the worst ones out there...texting away on my stupid little cell phone while I'm driving, at night, then swerving into the bike line right in front of a cop who them pulls me over and makes me feel like an idiot for using my phone while I'm controlling a 3,000 pound SUV at 45 mph. Had I actually hit someone, then I'd be in big trouble. But lucky for me the cop and his military haircut showed me his tone and told me to watchwhat I'm doing and stay off the phone while I'm driving. Is'nt that illegal in some states now? To use a cell phone while driving? Should I have gotten a ticket for that? The other day I was at my God-fosaken job at the pharmacy and this punk that I'm selling a prescription too is talking to himself. Or at least he looked like he was talking to himself. He had one of those earpieces for his phone and he was carrying on a conversation about what sounded like hooking up with a female for the night to one of his friends. So he comes to my counter hands me his insurance card, I grab his bag of stuff, tell him the copay, he hands me the exact amount and before I can hand him my receipt he walks away. He never even really stopped talking! I don't really have a problem with this because I would like as little human interaction in my day as a monk on a mountain. 10 minutes or maybe less I see him back in my pharmacy. He is upset and comes up to my counter cutting off theline of 10-12 people or so. He says in horrible english that this is not his prescription. I look at the bottle and sure enough,it's a females name. I do some research and after about 5 minutes I come to the conclusion that the prescription was incorrectly bagged before coming out to the front so the bag had his name on it, but the drug was for someone else. This happens commonly in busy pharmacies so if you ever go to one that looks out of control busy be on the look out. Plus if the pharmacist who gets paid 4 times more than I do were concentrating on what they were doing and not talking about the prices of Comcast internet it might not have even come out wrong in the first place. I fix the problem and give him the correct medication and he's on his way. Only I notice one thing, he was picking up a medication for he ever popular STD herpes. Now that sucks for him,but he probably was'nt paying attention to what he was screwing around with when he got the herpes. And after listening to his call he probably is not going to tell the broad that he's going to see that night he has it. And if he was'nt having an outbreak of herpes that day (which is the only time you really take the meds for it) he probably would'nt have beenin a rush to take one before getting to his car and realizing he was about to take some mid-40's ladies Prozac, which won't do shit for herpes. So hopefully the girl he's going to see pays attention if she decides she's going all the way tonight. And hopefully the guy won't realize he gave me a $20 and not a $10 because his copay was $5 and I only gave him $5 back. haha...better off concentrating on what you are doing and staying off the phone. You might keep that girl from catching you herpes. Gross but true.  -Capt.